Kharagpur Local : Good Samaritans

'My undergraduate life at the Indian Institute of Technology, Kharagpur would surely be one of my most cherished periods in life. Along with all the routine academic stuff, Kharagpur taught me a lot about life. One of the most effective modes of such a discourse was surely the rail journey from Kharagpur to Kolkata. In the two to three hours spent on the train, my favorite hobby was to observe the people traveling with me. And in the four years spent commuting I dare say I have built up a pile of stories and nuggets which might interest the reader. I plan to share these in a short story format. So sit back and enjoy... and to all my critics.. please bear with me !'

GOOD SAMARITANS

It was a hot and humid day as I made my way towards the railway station. The weather and my procrastinations had delayed my departure, and by the time I reached the station it was already well into the evening. One thing I hated about traveling then was the sheer overcrowding of the train. Evening meant office goers in Kolkata returning back to their homes, unfortunately peppered all along my route back to Kharagpur. Nonetheless I had only myself to blame. So mumbling and frowning I took a ticket for the Kharagpur Local and made my way towards the platform. Needless to say, the place was teeming with people. Although I am not averse to crowds, the weather made it undesirable.

The trick with traveling in such crowded places is to have proper seating. My personal favorite was the window seat; it gave me a perfect view and the superfluous winds made my journey quite pleasant. However today the fight for the perfect seat was going to be tough. Thankfully I was traveling light and I quickly searched for a place where I had a good chance to get the seat of my choice. The train arrived shortly and a melee broke out between the people boarding and the ones getting off. I maneuvered my way through the crowd and got my prize, a vacant window seat.

As I made myself comfortable the rest of the compartment was occupied by office goers heading back home. All the remaining seats were quickly taken up but for one. And this one seat is going to be the protagonist of the remaining story.

As the crowd settled down, it emerged that this lone seat had two contenders vying for its affection. Two men carrying bags and files came and stood on either sides of the seat. Sweating profusely and breathing hard, both men wanted to grab the seat but were restrained as if bound by some Lucknavi Tehzeeb (courteous behavior accredited to Lucknow residents). After a few seconds of pondering, one of them broke the silence.

"Aare Moshai, Aapni Boshun" (Mister, please have a seat)

"Are Na Na, Aapni Aage Eshechen Aapni Boshun" (No, no, you came first, you should have the seat)

"Aapni Seat Ta Aage Dekhechilen, Aapnar Bosha Uchit" (You saw the seat first, you should sit down)

"Ki Bolchen Moshai, Aapnar Shaate Eto Jinish, Bosha To Aapnar Uchit" (You have so much luggage with you, it is only proper that you sit)

"Kudi Bochor Dhore Ei Jinish Pottor Uthiye Cholchi Moshai, Ei Shorir Ekdom Tip Top" (I have been traveling with as many things for the past twenty years, my body is still in perfect shape)

"Ei Je To, Aapni Senior Maanush Uchit Aapnar E Bosha" (There you see, you are so senior, it only makes sense for you to sit down)

"Aare Senior Maane, Aapni Ki Bolte Chaan Ki Aami Budho Hoye Gechi?" (Are you implying that I am old?)

"Budho Naa Moshai, Aami Bollum Aapni Senior Maanush, Aapnar Bosha Dorkar" (Not old, I just meant you are my senior, you should sit down)

"Senior Wenior Chaarun To Moshai, Tokhon Theke Je Bolchi Boshe Porun, Aamar Kothar Je Dekhi Kono Daam E Nei" (Leave all the senior crap, I have telling you for such a long time, just sit down. You are simply ignoring me)

"Boshte To Aamio Bolchi Aapnake, Eto Jinish Othate Koshto Nischui Hochche, Boshe Porun" (I have telling you the same thing too. You must be feeling tired carring so many things, do sit down)

"Aapnar Cheye Beshi Koshto Hochche Naa" (Not feeling as tired as you)

"Aami To Ekhono Mojbut Aachi, Aapnar Boyeshe Aapnar Boshe Pora E Uchit" (I am totally fine, but at your age I must insist that you sit down)

"Ei Je Aabar Ulto Palta Shob Kotha, Bolchi Je Boshe Porun. Aapnar Cheye Beshi Dom Ei Shorire" (Do stop with all the nonsense, just sit down. This body still has more stamina than yours)

"Are Rege Keno Jaachen, Bhablum Aajke Ektu Charity Kori, Kintu Aapni To Otherwise Nichchen" (Why are you getting angry? I just thought I would be more charitable today, but you are taking it otherwise)

"Bodo Eshechen Charity Korte, Ekta Good Samaritan Bonun Aage, Ekta Seat Chere Je Ki Bishal Kaaj Korche Ke Jaane! Beshi Kotha Badhaben Naa To Moshai, Bolchi Boshe Jete..Boshe Podun" (First be a good Samaritan and then think about charity. I do not know how great you feel having sacrificed just a seat. Do not speak uselessly..Just sit down)

"Ei Je Insult Korben Naa, Boshte Ki Bole Diyechi Gorom Dekhache Ekhon" (Do not insult me, I just told you to sit and now you are acting so haughty)

And the discussion intensified. What started of as a show of extreme civility had now turned into something more heinous. But none of us came forward to issue a truce. It is not always that you get such great entertainment on the train. As their interchanges became more acrid, our smiles turned more angelic. The train went on, they continued their debate, the seat remained vacant and we kept smiling. It was literally a comedy of errors, a comedy life is just too good at.

The train stopped at an intermediate station and an old lady boarded the coach. Seeing the vacant seat, she rushed and grabbed it. The whole compartment broke into a muffled laugh. The two weary contenders now realized the futility of their debate, both of them turned away from each other, and the comic intercourse stopped as abruptly as it began.

The train marched on. The whole compartment bore a smile on their faces, expect for the two debaters and a confused old lady. I turned my face towards the window and the hot and humid weather felt a little better.