How can one break ones’ heart?
How does one make one cry?
Once I tried to get your love
Now my eyes are sad and dry.
I loved you then, I love you now
But did you ever love me?
I dreamt of you, I still dream of you
But did you ever dream of me?
A thousand times I wished you were mine
Did you wish such a single time?
I never had the courage to tell you
Did you not see my love a single time?
When I told you of the love I have
You simply told me no;
I have stayed back since waiting for you
But where did you go?
Much time has passed and you are gone
And I sit here sad and forlorn;
Remembering the times together we spent
Trying to catch hold of moments already went.
If you ever do remember me
Please spare a tear for all my cry;
Once I tried to get your love
Now my eyes are sad and dry.
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10 comments:
Debumahan....sahi hai aapka kavitha...but kaun hai wo jo tumhara pyaar ko nahi maan rahi hai???
one of those five r another one :P ??
well...i wish u cud tell her directly (be brave :P) n all the best :D
wow !! i never knew u were into this tough.. a poet - my goodness !! is it just a poem or any of your personal experience? who is she, may i dare ask?
as of the poem, its nice that you tried to rhyme, and the scheme u tried to use is, abcb, if i am not wrong. But one advice, if you decide to rhyme at all, then stick to it throughout, (in the second last stanza, you went abcc). Also, its not a clever idea to use the same word in order to rhyme, like me-me in the second stanza and time - time in the third one..
While writing, try to think a bit more, its not that hard to rhyme. And with such a nice topic represented in such a nice way, proper rhyme can make it a masterpiece.
Keep writing.
Devu!!!!!! Its nice to think of you as a poet,because I admire poets. Your poem of full of feelings. It seems that u have poured ur heart here. But, my friend, u will have to definitely work on the writing style, such as rhyming scheme, which Rahul pointed out. Your poem needs just a bit of finishing touch and it will become a fantastic piece of work for sure.
Waiting for ur next....
Just an another poet[:D]
Vishwa Deepak 'tanha'
you've got extremely intellectual versifiers sent from heaven disguised as collegues...have fun.
wooooooow,this is wat i have to say and who is this mysterious girl?
u don't seem so romantic as your poem boasts out to be.... perhaps u don't speak out that's why you are venting your thoughts through the keyboard... :D
hey!! i didn't really expect your poem to be this way... I thought reading it would be a mere waste of time. But I was absolutely wrong. You actually have that poetic insight in you. According to me, the most difficult thing to do is expressing your feelings in words. Expressing is not difficult but expressing exactly how you feel is onerous. This poem of yours delineated the feeling which everyone goes through at one point or the other in an aesthetic way.
So who is this lucky gurl or she is just a figment of ur imagination? ;)
well...for starters....i thought i was good...but it sounds like a desperate person asking for tears.... not a way to live life... doesnt evoke strong feelings.... the only advantage her eis dat it rhymes....
love is best described by metaphors....if its a feeling u cannot describe its a feeling u cannot convey...why are poets called romantics.....understand the need for experience....do not make a poem on love with just a gal...and maybe tears... u can never touch anyone with this...im sorry but i got this feeling from this
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